Dreams & Desires
by fan-nerd
Summary: Abe doesn't exactly envision his first love being him, nor does he think his first kiss will belong to the pitcher, but he's never claimed to have an exciting imagination.


_A/N: After the chapter where the boys talk about their fantasies and romance and stuff, Abe's answer started me working on this fic. Hope you enjoy!_

* * *

Abe's always been kind of a nagging guy, in his personal relationships, but with regards to romance, it had been so far off of his radar that he hadn't bothered with silly illusions. Whatever happened happened. He had ideas about how things would go, and sometimes dreamt of the kind of girl he'd have a relationship with, but for the most part, he decided that he'd just let things come and go; play it by ear, so to speak. And this, what's happening right now, both isn't how he thought things would go, and does not surprise him, all the same.

The kiss is hot and wet and a little suffocating, but he doesn't want to move away.

* * *

**_Dreams & Desires_**

* * *

Baseball, admittedly, takes up most of their time. During times when they are not practicing, the team still seems to find themselves gathered, for some reason or another. Hanai's got a scarf tied around his head, Tajima's running his mouth, Izumi's relatively calm about the whole situation, and Mihashi's tripping and stumbling over whatever it is that he wants to say. The others are busy talking about some TV show, just before Abe gets called away. They assume a teacher wants to speak to him, but there should be no reason he's in trouble—if anything, Tajima and Mihashi are in the most danger at any given time, with grades. Later on, Mizutani and Nishihiro are gaping, spreading the news, that it's some girl in their class who has confessed to Abe, and they all groan, angry that their fussy teammate is the first to reap the rewards of their success of the previous year. Still, he'd always been popular, and although Mizutani and Abe had butt heads over Shino'oka in Spring, now in the Winter of their second year, they're closer than ever, despite it all.

They continue teasing him for ages, until they are forced to stop chatting, because their break is over, and class is continuing. Still, those of their group in Abe's class let their mockery and snickering continue throughout class, regardless. He flushed extra red and tried to make himself very small within his seat, but otherwise gave no external reaction that it was affecting him at all. Practice later let the catcalls and elbows and looks continue, even though he kept stressing that he'd promptly turned her down in favor of prioritizing the team, and to break the mushy tension, Tajima yelled something about porn or running around the block naked, or something, and they couldn't help but laugh and hurry to shut him up.

It was on the way home, when Tajima usually rode back with Mihashi, that anyone noticed that something was different. Their shy pitcher quietly spoke to their pinch hitter and told him he'd be walking with Abe today—they'd made plans to have dinner together, since Ren's mother was out of town, and his father was working late, yet again. Tajima, as usual, seemed to sense that something was bothering his friend. He'd asked if he wanted him to join them for dinner as well, but the boy with lighter hair shook his head fervently. "I am okay….Tajima-kun." He flushes red and forces a smile, and his friend clearly doesn't believe it, but chooses to let it go, just this once.

The pitcher and catcher, whose relationship has improved tremendously since their introduction over a year ago, through the injury, the recovery, and the success of their second try at Koushien in their first year. Mihashi is all nerves and gaping expressions, while Abe is scowling and coercing the conversation out of him when they go back to the shorter adolescent's house. Still, the atmosphere between them isn't bad, and the catcher doesn't try to force things out of him, and earns that winning smile more often these days. He still can never be too sure how Mihashi really feels, because he never really manages to spit it out cleanly the first time, but when he does, it's almost always something he should be able to say to their bus full of teammates, loud and proud, but can manage to say it to him with few breaks in between his words. Abe shivers and smiles and his heart almost stops every time, and he congratulates him on his progress.

Making dinner is a hassle, when they're already this tired, but Mihashi had already chopped most of the things for dinner before leaving that morning, making the job of actually cooking the food much more tolerable. They cooked and ate in relative quiet, the news reporting in the background softly. When they are almost finished, the boy with honey-colored hair raises a question he's been fidgeting to ask for most of the meal.

"So how was…the confession?" He's beet red, trying to stuff his face, and his eyes go from Abe's face, to his plate, to the wall, and back again, making a sort of circle in the midst of his anxiety.

Abe coughs and tries not to choke on his food before answering, flushed. "It was fine, I guess! I don't really know. I mean, I said no. I don't know what you want me to say!"

Mihashi wants to ask a question—of course, he only knows this because Tajima, during all the games he'd been catcher for him, and interpreter, besides, had drilled the signs into his mind. That fidgeting, he knew, meant he wanted to say something, and if he avoided your gaze, it meant that he clearly had something that he wanted to ask, and wasn't sure if it was alright. It consistently tried the regular catcher's patience, but he was more embarrassed than anything else, at the moment, waiting for his partner to spit out whatever it was he wanted to ask _now_. "Did you…k-k-…" He knows what he wants to say, he spits, and stops his question midway for the first time in a while.

"No! Of course not! I mean, she hardly finished confessing to me before I turned her down!" Abe was redder than Mihashi had ever seen him before. He cursed to himself that this clumsy teammate of his made him more flustered and worked up than any girl ever had. "Did Tajima trick you into asking me that? Has he been force-feeding you those magazines again?"

"N-no," He pulls his lips underneath his teeth and twitchily avoids the catcher's eyes, which means that at least some part of Abe's questioning was on-point. When he notices Abe's glare, he first straightens his back and then changes his answer. "I mean, uh, he, asked…but I…wanted to know, too!" He's too close, and the shine of reflection of the light in the room is bright in his eyes, and the taller teen sighs and wishes he could disappear. "He says they…feel nice." Mihashi fiddles with his own empty hands, flushing deeply. For some reason, when the other baseball player looks up, he is both confused and struck in an epiphany.

_Ah_, Abe thought, more calmly than he felt, _I like him._ He suddenly felt his heart clench, and things made a stupid amount of sense. What had that year of flailing and yearning and jealousy about Kanou and Haruka and Tajima really been all about? Why was he sitting here, actually _thinking about kissing this moron_ in his living room after they'd had dinner, after turning down a confession, and promising that he'd forgo romance in favor of baseball, all those months? Before he can stop himself, his mouth replies, "I dunno, but I guess I'll find out some day. My imagination's not very good." _What a shitty lie!_ _I'm thinking about kissing you until your lips turn all puffy, and we're sitting in the same room together. I was never this delusional before…_His thoughts trailed off.

He really hadn't been one for delusions before Mihashi. Now? He dreamt of being the best battery in the country—no, the world! He thought about not only playing baseball until they couldn't any more, but thought about him on and off the field. Even before his sudden realization, this much had been true. Sakaeguchi had pointed out to him that most of his speech, if it wasn't about class, was about baseball, and ninety-nine percent of his concerns regarding the sport centered around Mihashi. "Abe-kun?" He's been quiet for a time, and Mihashi's cool hand is pressed to his forehead. "You're…warm! I'll get a cold compress…" The light-haired boy shuffles out of the room and hurries back with the wave of cool relief against his forehead, and Abe doesn't manage to inform him that he isn't, in fact, feverish, and is moreso caught up in his thoughts and left with blushing cheeks to pay for them.

After he settles down a little, he puts the compress down, waits until Mihashi is smiling and comfortable on the cushion. Abe can't help compulsively grabbing his hand, an old habit, squeezing warmth into it tightly, as he speaks. "Do you…like me?"

Almost thoughtlessly, Ren replies, "Yes!" He seems proud, so happy that he can say such a thing and not get yelled at, and he smiles and sounds genuine, he really isn't scared of him any more, what a relief, and he presses their noses close.

"I like you, too. More than I should. And not just because you can pitch," Abe assures him, continuing to speak softly—softer than he's probably ever spoken to his teammate. "I've been thinking…"

Mihashi seems uncomfortable, but at the same time, does not want to move. So he squeezes Abe's hand back and keeps breathing in the same close space as him, heart racing out of control. They are both flushed, foreheads feeling feverish against each other's temples. "You're…smart, and…amazing! I'm sure…your thoughts…are good, too!" He manages, with little gasps and pauses, eyes studying the deep, dark eyes of the catcher he is slowly starting to understand, little by little.

"Even if…they're weird?" Abe wants to ask the question he's been skirting for a few minutes now, but he can't—he _just can't_. So he keeps breathing and hovering and tries to keep his eyes closed, set the mood, but he slips and connects their lips in a beautiful accident. Mihashi is gaping and making all those same nervous tics he would if his mouth weren't occupied as they kiss. They pull apart just a short moment after, and Abe's eyes are a bit crazed, while Mihashi seems lost. "I like you—no, scratch that, you won't get it if I say it like that. I want to date you! I want to kiss you lots and touch you, and talk to you about stuff that isn't baseball, even though I know that's all your head is full of, but that's okay. Do you like me?! And don't make shit up because I just kissed you, because if you don't like me, I'll just pretend it didn't happen, and we'll go back to how it was before I did it."

Mihashi is redder than him, from his collar up to his ears. "I like…Abe-kun…Are you okay…with me?"

He flicks his forehead. "I wouldn't be asking to date you if I wasn't okay with you. Besides, you think too little of yourself. If you weren't so bad with words, there's a few girls I know that'd love for me to introduce you to them."

He looked shocked and torn to hear this. "But you…j-just said…"

Abe hisses at himself for the mistake. "I'm not saying I want to! I was just commenting that your attitude on the field and your seriousness are admirable! It doesn't hurt that you're good looking, too, if more than a little timid."

As though on a timer, Mihashi starts to cry, and Abe stumbles over himself to apologize and set things right, even offering to leave and never talk of this again, before he is stopped. "I'm not…sad!" He sniffles and his grip, strong from his craft, almost hurts his teammate's wrist. "I'm…happy! I want to…kiss…again…with Abe-kun!"

Waiting at least until he's not sniffling and snot isn't running from his nose, the taller male with a shorter haircut joins him on the floor, and wipes the running tear from his cheek before coming back to his mouth. Their lips are only just barely wet from licking and tears, but Abe grows adventurous, and he can hear Mihashi's swallowed comment inside of his own mouth in a hum and it makes his heart thump and blood pump faster.

Shaky hands come around his back as he continues searching, their tongues more vocal than they had been in the average week of the previous year. They press closer and closer, and tears fall on his shirt until the sobs turn into noises definitively different. Mihashi's hands twist in Abe's dark, course locks as he moans into his mouth, reciprocative and searching just as much as his partner. Even as their breaths come raggedly through their noses, they feel suffocated and liberated at the same time.

It's so hot. They're pressed against each other, still as feverishly tempered as before, lips glistening from the recent second kiss, as they pull away, but they don't leave each other's gaze or arms.

"Kissing feels…nice," Mihashi comments with something halfway between a snort and a giggle, and Abe tries to will the stirring in his pants to go away, and stop ruining this moment.

x

Tajima seems to take one look at his friend the following day, and might's well have shouted his question. "So, d'you do it? How'd it go?" His fellow teammates and classmates spit and sputter, but Mihashi only flushes and twitches, like usual, but it goes on for much longer.

"Kiss…ing," He manages, a paragraph's worth of response in the unspoken dialog that only Kanou, Tajima, and Haruna seemed to understand. Mihashi then grins like a fool, and everyone seems shocked that he has such a pleasant smile. His friend smiles and smacks him a little too hard on the back.

"I'll tell him not to mistreat you. If anything he does pisses you off, you come straight to me, yeah?" Mihashi doesn't really nod, because he doesn't feel like Abe will do such a thing, and in the event that he does, he doesn't want Tajima to bother him for it. When the rest of the team, via the ever talkative Tajima, finds out about Mihashi and Abe, no one is surprised, not really, except for maybe the oblivious Hanai. Izumi, much like everything else, is calm about the whole thing, and remains unconcerned and unmoved, even as the others chat animatedly, and elbow and tease the two of them, and Momo-kan comes down and forces them back to practice.

Abe and Mihashi's silent communication still has a long way to go, but when they get off of the field to go practice by themselves, all Abe can see in his battery partner's eyes is the desire for the two of them to be more private, to be kissing, and close, and quiet, and he agrees to meet him to do just that after their work is done. They agree that baseball is still the most important thing right now, but now that windup is just so distracting, Abe thinks, wishing they were at the quiet Mihashi household.

Yet again, he breaks from his code of just going with 'whatever happened', and allowing himself a moment of illusion, and in the moment, catches a nearly perfect straight ball, and the energy shared between them at that time is electric. His imagination takes off in a sudden leap, and nighttime cannot come soon enough.


End file.
